What do you think of at Christmas? Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Sweet memories with family? Cider and egg nog? Making snowmen? The birth of the Christ child?
George Michael and someone else think about this time someone broke their heart.
“Last Christmas” embodies so much about Christmas spirit fail. First off, it has a noxious but insistent melody, which makes itself an unwelcome guest in your ears. It has relentlessly syrupy lyrics. And it’s depressing to boot–a song deliberately designed to kill your Christmas cheer.
Its one grace note may be when Wham! whines “I thought you were someone special” on the seemingly endless denouement. (Did I mention that “Last Christmas” clocks in at almost 7 minutes? It feels as though it lasts all the way from last Christmas to this one.)
And because it is so uniquely awful, “Last Christmas” is a top choice for cover artists, including Ashley Tisdale, who seems intent on proving that there’s no tune that the Disney Channel’s subtalented tweens won’t make even worse.
Teary Christmas, everyone.