Merry Christmas, failers! Welcome back to a new season of festive curmudgeonliness (or is that curmudgeonly festivity?) You may have thought that we would hang up our homburg after covering “The Christmas Shoes,” but you should have known better. Just like Peak Oil after the growth of fracking, Peak Bad Christmas Music is a long way off.
And so we present perhaps the most choleric beauty-pageant call for peace masquerading as holiday cheer: John and Yoko’s un-classic “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)”:
John and Yoko manage to combine the soporific effect of Josh Groban’s “Believe,” the lyrical inanity of Taylor Swift’s “Christmas Must Be Something More,” and the quasi-ethical heavy-handedness of Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” You can just about hear the Chipmunks in there if you listen hard enough. Yes, it’s a stocking overflowing with an abundance of Christmas craptitude.