“I am a poor singer too, pa rum pa pum pum”

As a song, “The Little Drummer Boy” (the “The Carol of the Drum”) is one of the most annoying additions to the Christmas canon. As a film, it decidedly tilts the Rankin/Bass holiday special verdict toward cloying.

But its greatest offense has been to provide “inspiration” for literally hundreds of cover artists. One of the worst we at Christmas Spirit Fail have ever heard is Justin Bieber’s:

For this abomination, we must give a tip of the homburg to the Divine Professor A, and turn it over to her:

Having found the lyric genuinely amusing, I listened to the song and found it immensely annoying. I think I’d managed thus far in life to avoid hearing the voice of Justin Bieber. It’s so irritating!… especially when accompanied by constant snare drumming, which is, apparently, regarded as essential, even when layering in rap, for anybody doing a new arrangement of that always awful song “Drummer Boy.”

Which reminds me, if you ever feel like giving me a gift, and you think all you’ve got to give is that drum number you’re threatening to perform, realize you are making a mistake. There’s also the gift of silence. I’d prefer that. I know baby Jesus reputedly appreciated the gift of drumming — according to that nasty song — but consider the possibility that Jesus was just being nice. I know, politeness is a quality alien to infants, but — come on! — it was Jesus! Put the damned drum away.

Althouse: an honorary Christmas Spirit Failer if ever there was. Welcome to our curmudgeonly fireside.

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